Friends


That was definitely a busy and tiring few days.

Saturday was supposed to be a quiet day as we knew once we set of to L&T’s we wouldn’t get much rest. It didn’t happen that way though. The morning was spent searching for the photo album’s mum had lent us (me aged 0-4), and the afternoon was packing and Mr H fixing up his bike to take up so he could go out with T yesterday. We didn’t get to bed until 11:30. Not nice when we were up at 5:30!

The munchkin slept on until 6 but woke for the potty and with us up wouldn’t go back to sleep. We managed to get the car packed and us all breakfasted reay to leave at 7. For what I think is the first time ever we didn’t have any delays or slow sections of the motorway to contend with. We were up at L&T’s just before 10. We had time for a cuppa and for Mr H and the munchkin to change before we all headed off to the church. The service was lovely, though I spent most of it following the munchkin around the church and taking her out to use the potty! Back at L&T’s L put on a fantastic spread. Salads, bread, meat, hot nibbles, dips, gorgeous cakes and biscuits. It was great to see the family, only one of my uncles and a couple of my male cousins were missing. Sadly the weather, while dry most of the day, was quite grey. We did sit outside under the gazebos as it was fairly warm, but we did need jackets by about 5. The munchkin loved running around the garden and trying to play with baby J. She did manage to get her foot soaked in the pond. Thankfully she didn’t get any further! Most people left by about 6. We put the munchkin and baby J in the bath together and then put the munchkin down to sleep in L&T’s bed.

That was not our best plan. We though she’d sleep well there and then when we got her up to move her to the hotel she’d settle well again there….but no! She settled to sleep fine, we got her into the car at about 9:30 without too much fuss but when we got to the hotel….oh dear… Even though they knew there were three of us in the room the single bed hadn’t been made. So off we go, get the sheets out of the wardrobe, make the bed. All the while the munchkin is wandering round waking up more and more. We get the bed made and get her settled down. Mr H and I go and sit in the en suite to try and give the munchkin some peace and quiet to go to sleep in. 15 mins later I admit defeat and go into the room to go to bed. The munchkin’s still not asleep, it’s now 11pm. She clambers in with us for a hug. Mr H complains about the mattress on his side of the bed. The munchkin is almost asleep in the double bed. Mr H gets into the single, he’s comfy, then he decides he wants to share the bed with me. Due to him needing a decent night’s sleep since he’ll have to drive home the next day we swap sides of the bed and put the munchkin back into the single. I can understand why he didn’t want to sleep on ‘his’ side of the bed, it was awful! We all eventually got to sleep at arond midnight. Mr H was awake and reading just after 7, I woke then as well as he was using his torch and facing me. The munchkin managed to sleep until just after 8. We had a leisurely get up, we put a dvd on the laptop to keep the munchkin entertained and relaxed a bit more. 

We made it to L&T’s for a late breakfast before Mr H and T packed their mountain bikes into the car and headed off for some boy time. I sat and played with baby J and the munchkin (and was reminded how hard it is to butter bread while carrying a wriggly 6 month old) until L returned from shopping for more food for the afternoon’s BBQ. T was in charge of the BBQ as L had sorted the family party on Sunday. By 12:30 L was getting very stressed as the boys hadn’t returned and T still needed to clean the BBQ. The boys returned tired and sweaty at 1 with enough time left for showers and BBQ cleaning before the party started at 2. This was a party for all their friends as they wanted to celebrate J’s christening with them as well and there wasn’t space for everyone on Sunday. There were lots of little people and lots of bumps. At one point I was the only woman out of the 5 outside not sporting a bump! I was a little jealous but I know our time will come againa t some point. Most of L’s friends from her NCT group came along. All the babies are 5/6 months old. One of them is 5 1/2 months and weighs 20 lbs! The munchkin only weighs 24 lbs and she was 2 1/2 last week…

People trickled in and out as the afternoon went on. The last ones left at about 6:30, which left Mr H, the munchkin and I. We left at 7 (hoping to miss the worst of the bank holiday traffic returning to the London area), with a parting gift of lots of biscuits (L&T had a lot of left over food yesterday). Amazingly the return journey was as clear as the journey up and we were home by 10. The munchkin slept for the first 2 1/2 hours and went straight to bed when we got home, not waking until after 7 today.

It was a fantastic weekend. L and I got on better than we often do, which was lovely. It was great to see my parents again. They’d been staying with L&T for part of last week so left yesterday morning. Dad is now suffering with facial paralysis (it developed as the drove down to L&T’s). The doctor in L’s village thinks it is Bell’s Palsy though Mum thinks it may be another stroke. He’s been given steriods to take, but he’s not really wanting to take more medication, Mum has a hard time reminding him to take his cholesterol and blood pressure tablets everyday. It wasn’t as noticeable as Mum and L had lead me to believe (they said his face was quite droopy) until Dad blinked when only one eye closed. He was even more subdued and just sat quietly with my gran, his brother, nephew and niece for most of the party on Sunday. He’s lost so much confidence over the past year. It’s not nice seeing him like this, and knowing he’s not going to get better, only worse. It’s just something we have to live with now.

We did eat a lot over the weekend, but my hard work on the diet last week definitely paid off, I lost 1/2lb this week! I just need to keep the momentum going now.

Or rather college days (though with most of us being trainee teachers we spent a lot of time in school) were what I spent the weekend reminiscing about.

It was lovely to spend time with my college friends again, though we only had 4 hours with us all together due to people having varying half terms and the munchkin and I needing to be home on Saturday night ready for church yesterday. We were fed very well (thanks V!) and played some very loud games of Cranium(including waking the munchkin rather rudely – ooppss!). It was fantastic to spend time together and relax together.

Now I’m back I have a lot to do with the house. Thanks to going away for a couple of weekends combined with us all being under the weather the house is a tip. Mr H did a lot in the living room on Saturday while we were away which leaves me the dining room and kitchen to sort properly. I’m not helped on my mission today by the fact it’s very cold here and the kitchen pipes have frozen up (again!) so I can’t run either the washing machine or dishwasher or do the washing up. I’m going to disappear now and start attacking the dining table, I’ll be back online at some point and stop by a few blogs.

Hope you all have a good Monday. Bye!

Valentine’s has been postponed in the H household. We’ve exchanged presents (thank you for the flowers and mini bottle of Moet!), but Mr H has spent the day poorly in bed so my fabulous steak dinner (that’s what he’d planned to cook for me) has been postponed until Sunday. Mr H really isn’t up to anything, let alone standing in the kitchen or even going out to buy the steak so it’s down to me looking in the freezer for our dinner tonight.

The munchkin and I are going away tomorrow for my mini college reunion (I can’t believe it was a year since the last one). Due to Mr H’s work (tomorrow) and the fact that both he and I are on the rota at church for different things on Sunday morning I can only go for one night and I won’t get a toddler free break. Oh well. It’ll definitely be good to catch up with the girls. I’m back (hopefully! train service depending) at about 7 on Saturday.

I promised I will upload pictures from last weekend soon, I’m afaid they’re still sitting on the SD card in the camera! Also if anyone wants to help me work out how to put a little © and my name on the photos a la Chrisb (and others), I’d be very grateful (the photo software we have is Corel Photopaint).

I’ve actually had my hair cut today. The first time in about a year!

I’ve had about 5 inches taken off the ends and some layering put in at the front. It feels weird to run my fingers through my hair now, there’s so little of it. It’s just at my shoulders now so I can still tie it up when I need to but it’s got rid of all the horrible split ends I had. My hair seems so much thicker and full of body now, the length was really weighing it down.

The munchkin doesn’t seem to have noticed the change, I don’t know what Mr H will say when he gets in from work. He knew I was getting it done and agreed this morning that my hair needed some cutting from it.

My lovely friend cut it for me while her daughter and the munchkin played happily together. She’s been a hairdresser for years and since her daughter was born she’s worked as a mobile hairdresser taking her daughter with her. I went over to her house and we had a lovely lunch together as well. She’s a bit happier than she was. Her partner isn’t shouting and throwing things anymore though they’re still avoiding talking about the baby.

We’ve got a busy evening ahead here in the H house. Tomorrow afternoon we’re driving up to my parent’s for a long weekend. It’ll be the first time that Mr H has been up there for at least a year. It’ll be lovely to be back up there together but we do needs to get lots together first. Mr H is far better than me at packing so it needs doing tonight rather than when he’s at work tomorrow (he’s doing a half day). The munchkin has been invited to a birthday party at McDonalds at lunchtime (note to self: wrap present and write card!) and Mr H will pick us up from there at 2:30. Hopefully we’ll avoid most of the rush hour, but we always hit traffic as we enter the city by my parents, the only time we missed it was when we got there at 8:30pm, we’ll get there at between 6 and 6:30 tomorrow.

While we’re up Mum is going to baby sit for one evening. Mr H and I haven’t had a night out in a while. We’re proabably going to go to a local curry house for a ‘northern’ curry. Mr H is a bit of a curry fiend and doesn’t think much of the curry houses down here. There is one that does an all you can eat buffet for £12.50 so we may go there. I just hope there’ll be enough mild stuff for me. Mr H trained me to eat curry when we got together, but I still don’t like anything much hotter than a korma. The northern currys do then to be a bit hotter than the ones here. It’ll be nice to be out together whatever.

I’m also going to meet up with some of my friends while I’m up. We’re going out for lunch on Saturday and then possibly somewhere for a cuppa on Monday morning for those who are busy on Saturday. The munchkin is the only little one among us and the girls love to catch up with her.

Well, that’s all from me for today. I’ll be back again after the weekend. Hope you all have a good weekend. Bye!

Just a follow up to this for you all.

I’ve just spoken to my friend, she went to the counselling session on Wednesday and returned home to tell her partner that she wasn’t going through with the termination. He’s said she’s on her own and has started sleeping in a different room. He says he still loves her but that she’s ruined his life! Her parents are coming down for the weekend but he’s said he’ll be out all weekend and won’t even put his side of things across to them (she’s going to have the tell them as they’ll know something’s wrong). My friend has said she’s not going to let him force her out of her home and has pointed out to him that he’ll have to support the baby whatever. He won’t talk to her and is communicating with notes.

She’s being very strong at the moment, but I suspect at some point the barriers she’s putting around herself will have to come down a bit. I hope that when they do she’ll ask for whatever help she needs (she’s quite good at just getting on and ‘coping’).

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking over the weekend.

I think I may have mentioned before that I’m desperate for a second child but that Mr H doesn’t feel ready to try again. Well, I’m actually glad this month that I’m not pregnant (I never imagined thinking that).

A close friend of mine has discovered she’s pregnant by accident (she was on the pill but had to take antibiotics). Her partner of 8 years wants her to have a termination and won’t consider an alternative. She’s not going to have an termination under any circumstances and is having to face the possibilty that she may have to bring up the baby and their 2 year old daughter as a single mum. Her partner already has two teenage children from a previous marriage and doesn’t want to have to finance four children. He began very angry (blaming her even though it was a complete accident and no one’s fault) and saying that she could leave if she keeps the baby but is now being nice and just trying to point out to her the things they could do if she gets rid of the baby (new kitchen, bathroom, holidays). She can’t get him to consider her keeping the baby. She has an appointment for counselling on Wednesday during which her partner is expecting her to agree to a termination, she doesn’t know how he’ll react to her coming home and confirming that she’s going ahead with the pregnancy.

I’d find it so hard to be a supportive friend if I was pregnant now too, especially when having more children has always been on the cards for us (whereas for my friend it was never really considered). I wouldn’t know what to say without highlighting how different things would be for us both. I’ve been trying to work out over the weekend what I can do to help her, but I think that all I can do is pray for her and her partner, be here for her to talk to, and offer a place for her daughter to come and play if she needs some rest.

And I’m definitely ready for a quiet(ish) weekend. It’ll be nice to be at home and have Mr H here all day too. R moves out tonight (though may have to finish moving a few boxes tomorrow), so it really will be a weekend to ourselves. However, it’s the children’s nativity service at church on Sunday morning (not quite sure why it’s this early in advent) which I’d like to take the munchkin too and I’m singing in the worship band again in the evening, so there won’t be much of Sunday to ourselves, so I guess it’s just Saturday to ourselves.

I’ve made banana cake for us to enjoy (it’s just cooling so should be perfect by the time the munchkin and I get back from toddler group) and I’ve got some nice meals planned so hopefully Mr H will unwind a bit too. Despite the job offer he’s still stressed, as until he can sign anything everything’s still up in the air. He’s relaxed a little with having the flights to Scotland booked, it does mean rather less work for him to do so it’ll be a more relaxing break.

Anyway, got to go, toddler group calls…it starts in 10 minutes and we’re not ready! Bye!

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