I’ve been doing a lot of thinking over the weekend.

I think I may have mentioned before that I’m desperate for a second child but that Mr H doesn’t feel ready to try again. Well, I’m actually glad this month that I’m not pregnant (I never imagined thinking that).

A close friend of mine has discovered she’s pregnant by accident (she was on the pill but had to take antibiotics). Her partner of 8 years wants her to have a termination and won’t consider an alternative. She’s not going to have an termination under any circumstances and is having to face the possibilty that she may have to bring up the baby and their 2 year old daughter as a single mum. Her partner already has two teenage children from a previous marriage and doesn’t want to have to finance four children. He began very angry (blaming her even though it was a complete accident and no one’s fault) and saying that she could leave if she keeps the baby but is now being nice and just trying to point out to her the things they could do if she gets rid of the baby (new kitchen, bathroom, holidays). She can’t get him to consider her keeping the baby. She has an appointment for counselling on Wednesday during which her partner is expecting her to agree to a termination, she doesn’t know how he’ll react to her coming home and confirming that she’s going ahead with the pregnancy.

I’d find it so hard to be a supportive friend if I was pregnant now too, especially when having more children has always been on the cards for us (whereas for my friend it was never really considered). I wouldn’t know what to say without highlighting how different things would be for us both. I’ve been trying to work out over the weekend what I can do to help her, but I think that all I can do is pray for her and her partner, be here for her to talk to, and offer a place for her daughter to come and play if she needs some rest.

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