Hello! There’s a much happier H writing this morning. (even happier now as the door bell has just interupted me with the delivery of my new phone! It looks great, though I need to charge it before I can check it out)

I’m feeling so much more in control and on top of things today, and as far as I can tell as much as anything else it’s feeling that God is in control and helping take the weight from my shoulders. In church yesterday the vicar’s sermon was about intimacy with God and letting Him into our lives and he gave us a quiet time where we could just open ourselvs up to God and I really felt that He came and touched me. I just felt the weight lifting from me and a strong feeling that God is with me and supporting me at the moment. The feeling of support and lightness on my shoulders is still with me this morning.

I knew that I needed to go to church yesterday no matter what and now I feel it’s because God wanted me there to remind me that I just need to ask for His support and help and He’ll be there. I’m feeling so much more confident about the days and weeks ahead now, rather than worried the depression is returning.

We’ve had an interesting weekend this weekend. The munchkin has a streaming cold, she wakes up ok, but by lunchtime her nose is dripping and she’s getting very grumpy. My wrist is still giving me intermittant pain (though yesterday it was my own fault as I forget to take my tablets – I should have had 3, I forgot them all!). Mr H is very tired and trying to take some of the load from me so as not to worsen my wrist so he was a tad grumpy at times, though seeing what a difference God had made to me did perk him up a bit too.

Mr H watched Eurovision for the first time with me on Saturday, I love the pure cheesiness and Terry Wogan’s fabulous (and incrediably un PC at times) commentary but Mr H thought it would be awful, but he actually enjoyed it, mainly Mr Wogan though. I was quite shocked by how political the voting ended up being though, too many people voting for their allies and neighbours and not the songs (though the song that won was good). I’m not surprised how badly our song did though, it was too much in the 90s cheesy pop vein to do well.

Amazingly I’m even feeling positive about housework at the moment and getting back on top of it all, so today I need to (on top of my normal bits) clean the hob again, and hoover all downstairs.

My diet is back on track, I weigh in tonight and I’m hoping for a 2 lb or so loss…..it’s only been 4/5 days since last weigh in and getting myslef back on track though so maybe1 lb….anything would be good though.

I’m still a little worried about Dad. He’s going back to the doctors today (Mum’s working on him to allow her to go with him). I had my first experience of my memory loss on Friday when he rang to ask me about the trust fund money, he asked me for the same information 4/5 times in 10 minutes. Mum says he’s getting more withdrawn and he’s admitted that he’s had a bleed into his eye and he’s having a little trouble seeing out of it. Dad has blamed the bleed on the medication and has stopped taking it……we’re not thrilled with that idea….we think that the medication just hasn’t had time to kick in and the bleed is due to his high blood pressure. If Mum manages to go to the doctors with Dad then she is going to make sure the doctor knows about the bleed.

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