After a lovely weekend at my grans (Saturday night was the first night I have slept for 7 solid hours for weeks!) we went back for the second scan this morning.

As I expected there was no change. despite being sure of it it was still really hard when the lady doing the scan said that there was no change. We then had to head back to the EPU to decide what to do next, wait for things to happen naturally or book in for an ERPC. Since baby died about 4 weeks ago and nothing has happened yet we decided on an ERPC. If they have a bed for me when I ring at 8am tomorrow we’ll go in then. Mr H has booked the day off work to look after the munchkin, hopefully they’ll be able to be in with me some of the time, but I really don’t know. He took this morning off as well which was great. I don’t know how I’d have been if I’d been on my own.

I don’t react too well to general anaesthetics, I get very sick after them, so hopefully I’ll be early on the list for theatre, otherwise there’s a reasonable chance I’ll have to stay overnight (not ideal as MR H has important training on Wednesday).

I’ve been upping and ahhing over whether to ask Mum to come and stay for a couple of days, Mr H has too much on to be able to take much time off, he’s interviewing the students for industrial placements in his department one day this week as well as the training. I spoke to Mum this morning, she didn’t mention the possibility of coming, I don’t know what she’s got on at the moment, whether she’s busy or hasn’t thought of it.

One of the munchkin’s godmothers lives locally and has been here this afternoon to keep me company (she came bearing chocolates and a lovely scented candle for me), she’s said that if we need her after work for the rest of this week just to call which is fab.

I’m going to go now and put the munchkin to bed before packing a bag to take in with me tomorrow. Thanks again to those of you who left me the lovely messages.

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Update – I’ve spoken to Mum, after a lot of thought she’s going to come down tomorrow if I go in to hospital then. She was very dubious about coming (after a breakdown a year ago she’s found committing to things hard and needs time at home after being away fro a bit – she was staying with my gran last week so was hoping to have a quiet at home week this week), but having realised what a state I’m in she decided that she could do it after all. I’m so grateful. I’m realising quite how alone I am here, there’s no one (apart from the munchkin’s godmother) here that could help us in any way.

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